Islamic Laws

The Effects of Marital Disputes

It is necessary to discuss this issue from time to time because it is from among the sensitive issues in married people’s lives, as the moral deviation is the sensitive issue in unmarried people’s lives. This discussion is intended to maintain this sacred structure, in addition to discussing recent problems and solutions. We believe that the seeds of dispute are present in many family but they are awaiting the suitable environment to grow. The old saying goes: “Better prevent than remedy.
We hope that no one who hears this sermon tries to pick the points, which condemn the partner, or else this discussion will be futile in effecting a change. Rather we are putting issues for the couple to reflect on between them and to concentrate on changing the reality and not accusing the other.
The major damage marital disputes do is the gradual fading of the spiritual side of both disputants, in addition to causing a nervous breakdown and confusion because the mind, which is divided between life troubles, does not let the one reflect on issues related to the beginning of the creation and the hereafter.
‘From among the fatal effects of dispute, is the realization of the ground for doing injustice and transgression of limits, which in turn leads to the expulsion from the divine Mercy according to Allah’s saying: {Surely the curse of Allah shall rest upon the evildoers}, for Allah “Respites (the evildoer) but does not disregard (him)”, and men may reach this evil consequence after a period of constant disobedience as mentioned in the Tradition: “ Allah will throw him down farther than the Seven Sisters”
During the early years of their lives, children look on to their parents as examples in life therefore, if there was some mutual unjust treatment between the parents with the accompanying faults in speech and actions. The children will feel an unconscious withdrawal from religion and religious people and that is when they lose all respect to the symbols, which represent religion even if they were mistaking in the application.
The extent of the dispute is not restricted to the couple only, rather it reaches-even without intention-the couple’s relatives, which causes a wide split in the community, which in turn prepares the ground for different social cause of evil like; Backbiting, gossiping, defaming and other things which we consider light but with Allah they are mighty.
The marital relationship is not a kind of a business so that one of the partners overpowers the other, as owners do, neither is it a kind of a temporary contract so that each party thinks of getting rid of the other when they like. Rather it represents the peak of interblending of two souls, which is the reason of describing them as “A couple”. As their individual characteristics are mixed in the first fertilized cell, which is the beginning of a human being. Therefore, and in line with that, they ought to abandon their personal inclinations inside the marital establishment, and by that, the mother-with her soul- turns into a nursemaid for the child’s soul, as she was one day a nursemaid for his body.
The importance of this discussion is made clear through knowing that the blessing of the happy family is not limited to this world, rather it goes beyond it to the hereafter according to Allah’s saying: {Those who believed, and their seed followed them in belief, we shall join their seed with them}. Therefore, no investment in this world is compared to an investment. It was related that the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) had said in this context: “When a man enters Paradise, he will ask about his parents and children. Then he will be told that: “They did not attain your rank and level of deeds”. Then he would say: “O my God! I had done my deeds for me and for them. Then Allah orders that they join him.

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